Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Feelings


Feelings

Sometimes the toughest thing about feelings is sharing them with others. Sharing your feelings helps you when your feelings are good and when they aren't so good. Sharing also helps you to get closer to people you care about and who care about you. When people talk about feelings, they sometimes use the word "emotions."

Focusing on Your Feelings


You can't tell your friends what's inside your backpack if you don't know what's in there yourself. Feelings are the same way. Before you can share them with anyone, you have to figure out what feelings you have.
Making a list of your feelings can help. You can do this in your head or by writing it out on a piece of paper or even by drawing pictures. Is something bothering you? Does it make you
sad or angry? Do you feel this emotion only once in a while or do you feel it a lot of the time?
When you're trying to figure out your feelings, it might help to remember something that happened and think about how it made you feel. Then you can say, "I feel sad when my friend doesn't play with me" or "I feel angry when my brother always wins at baseball." This can help you figure out your own feelings. It also gives the person you're talking with more information about what's bothering you.

Why Talk About Your Feelings?

The way a person feels inside is important. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you're feeling sad, worried, or upset. Then, it's just you and these bad feelings. If you keep feelings locked inside, it can even make you feel sick!
But if you talk with someone who cares for you, like your mom or dad, you will almost always start to feel better. Now you're not all alone with your problems or worries. It doesn't mean your problems and worries disappear magically, but at least someone else knows what's bothering you and can help you find solutions.
Your mom and dad want to know if you have problems because they love you and they want to know what's happening in your life. But what if a kid doesn't want to talk with mom or dad? Then find another trusted adult, like a relative or a
counselor at school. Maybe this person can help you talk with your mom and dad about your problem or concern.

How to Talk About Your Feelings

Once you know who you can talk with, you'll want to pick a time and place to talk. Does it need to be private, or can you talk with your brother and sister in the room? If you think you'll have trouble saying what's on your mind, write it down on a piece of paper. If the person doesn't understand what you mean right away, try explaining it a different way or give an example of what's concerning you. Is there something you think could be done to make things better? If so, say it.
Some kids - just like some adults - are more private than others. That means some people will feel more shy about sharing their feelings. A kid doesn't have to share every feeling he or she has, but it is important to share feelings when a kid needs help. You don't have to solve every problem on your own. Sometimes you need help. And if you do, talking about your feelings can be the first step toward getting it.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Human Psychology



THE PERSON AS A WHOLE

To regard a person 'as a whole' can mean many things. It cannot reasonably mean knowing everything about a person, but it must involve an adequate idea of the various levels of the human psyche, from the instinctual physical, through the mind and soul to the highest levels of consciousness and self-realisation. Further, any concept of the human whole must allow for a meaningful inter-relationship therein of the many 'parts' or aspects of the person's entire life. This must include both the facts and values of a person's life, how all kinds of feelings, thoughts, behaviour and relationships appear to that person. It must be capable of including a person's relation either to the perceived past and present or the anticipated future.

To grasp the essentials of the person we require again and again to start from something akin to a biographic understanding of the individual life and life-view and this must precede advance judgements, leading cues or generalisations like those derived from analytical theories. This does not exclude all generalising but it accents human understanding, which opens itself to learning about both the depths and the expansiveness of each person or subject, about which narrow generalisations are otherwise far too easily accepted.
The integrated and unitary (holistic) nature of human being itself is lost almost entirely to view by the over-dominance of the analytical approach in modern research, the individual being left unaided to make whatever overall picture he can of all this mass of disparate research fragments. Only when analysis is balanced by synthesis in understanding - reviewed in conscious reflection and by explicit, systematic means - can part and whole mutually fulfil each other in a science, which then itself becomes holistic.

Yet the main problem is the fragmentation of human experience that such analysis involves. The data is almost always relatively quite insignificant compared to the world of any person, which encompasses a great range of intricately inter-connected events, ideas, judgements, circumstances, values, hopes, problems, actions, reasons and so on, almost ad infinitum. But this human sphere is 'reduced' to a system of co-ordinates: 'reductionism' discovers sets of 'multi-variable factors' that are then supposed to indicate the causes of what we do, regardless of the personal reasons we may have. However intelligently gathered and accurately processed the data may be, it can simply not even approach the essential - and hence most important - character of persons because it reduces qualititative phenomena to quantity.Such 'reductionism', doubtless increases the amount of information available about many sides of experience and, though it is essential to the study of physical nature, it can only have a secondary, supportive function in human studies. Studies in physiology and neurology or the conditions of our physical environment cannot penetrate the meaningful and formative essence of any person, the qualitative personal experience of being and living with purpose. All that is 'objective' about the human being - and can thus be studied by scientific method - arises with and from the body. The body, however important in itself, is still but an instrument of a person's consciousness - or the human spirit - and is not the being itself.

PERSONALITY INTEGRATION

The development of a balanced personality, having sufficient autonomy, sound principles and the character to practice these principles in life, is the essence of personal integration. Integration is related to the word 'integrity', whose origin is in completeness and unity... in short, wholeness. The perfect 'human whole' is an ideal of perfect integrity for which anyone who wishes to develop far must aim. So integration also implies moral soundness, purity and virtue of character as exemplified in sincerity, consistency, accountability and honesty. Ultimately, the ideal of integrity is wholeness, and what has always been called holiness, saintliness or piety.The relative absence of character integration in a person is seen in the predominance of negative traits like duplicity, discrepancy of words and actions, falsity, untrustworthiness, violence. At the opposite pole from the perfectly integrated human personality is personality disintegration, exemplified by extreme (so-called) schizophrenic disorder. Yet all too often the phenomenon of integration is neglected, seldom studied at a broad and understandable rational level. The key connection between integrity as truthfulness and personality integration, for example, is overlooked. The same applies to all the positive personal qualities that go to make up what used to be regarded so highly as 'character' perhaps because these are simply no longer sufficiently understood or valued in the modern Western humanities as they have been developed on the background of physical science.
To know what integration involves and how it is attained requires personal and practical psychological insight. There are many factors to take into account and systematic research into this subject is in its infancy. What integration means in practical concrete terms will obvious vary with different people, the stages of their lives and the actual situations that confront them. The quality of 'personal integrity' is often so individual or so dependent on special circumstances as to be almost indefinable. Yet the general nature of integration can be outlined in understandable ways, at least as regards some fairly typical life situations, some problems commonly experienced, and some possible directions of personal growth.In trying to anticipate perfect integration we cannot overlook the ideal human condition of original sinless innocence and the consequent uninterrupted bliss of being, which is palpable in infants and is discernible in a very few persons of the highest spiritual achievement. This gives a key to the deepest meaning of integrity.
The thesis that the human being is developing towards realisation of a latent unity and wholeness of personality, on the model of a perfected 'ideal type', ought to be considered seriously and investigated as a counterweight to supplement its opposite thesis, the pessimistic 'animalistic' thesis that has been enshrined by the sciences since the incomplete and often misinterpreted theories of Darwinian biology and of Freudian pseudo-physicalism.Major assumptions such as these are seen as unwarranted by higher psychology, though they do serve as a basis for describing the more primitive phases of human evolution. These attempts at 'value-free' science in explaining the human condition 'strictly by analysis' from a physical-factual standpoint are however self-defeating in their failure to take into account their own underlying values and 'world-view' assumptions about who and what we are.

DANGERS OF PERSON CLASSIFICATIONS AND TYPOLOGIES

The first caution in studying individual persons is primarily to regard them precisely as such, that is, as 'non-divisible'. The principle of the undivided autonomy of any personal subject must be observed. A person is a subject, apart from being embodied and thus having objectivity. As such, a person is self-experiencing, by virtue of consciousness, which is individualised through the differing minds of each person.

Because each person is first and foremost a subject, their nature is not objectively evident to anyone, for it is firstly inner and only thereafter expressed in outward ways through word and act etc. This calls for great consideration and perspicacity when trying to understand their persons. The task is to subtract one's own judgements and inferences in so far as these do not stem directly from one's relations with the person concerned. Even so, long acquaintance with a person does not itself guarantee an understanding of them, though it is a prerequisite. The breadth of contact with a person and the depth of understanding vary and depend on many qualities, from intuition to compassion, experience to frankness. We must therefore systematically avoid the temptation to 'carry over' typifications or inferences from previous experience in the form of premature pre-judgements or prejudices. This tendency is counteracted by the discipline of writing accurate descriptions of observations as a case study, using verbatim material where relevant and preferably having these checked by independent observers.

Any categorisation of personality type or the like usually depends for its intelligibility upon the purpose of making it. To apply it willy-nilly outside such a context, as it if were an absolute, is a typical confusion found in much psychology. It is a great mistake to assume any fixed, natural categories of the human psyche. Everyone is changing or developing and, historically, new and unique kinds of personality keep on evolving. So comparisons aiming at general human types or psychological functions should always be seen on the background of the specific applications for which they are intended. Otherwise they can become fixated as false scientific generalities, treated as if independent of the personal, cultural and other conditions in which they arose. This danger, inherent to all classification, is what be called 'misplaced objectivisation' or 'ontologisation': the tendency to fixate categories as if they were once-and-for-all 'objectively-determined' forms of being (ontos).

With the battery of psychological tests available today (eg. Binet's IQ, Rorschach and many another) one seeks the correct slot for the 'case' or 'instance' in question. Popular psychological literature shows widespread fixation on personality 'types'. The profession also abounds in people who, in assessing their personalities of their clients, apply classifications fairly uncritically by failing to consider serious social and other consequences of labelling a person thus.The tendency to define persons according to 'type' is quite a primitive kind of thinking, for it often causes them to see themselves - and be looked upon and even be treated by others - as unchanging and confined to their type.1 To approach persons in this way neglects our natural propensity for self-transformation and transcendence of given conditions, especially over time. Psychological 'type-casting' easily generates an alienated view of people and has subtle depersonalising influence both on the minds of psychologists their clients. The person, who is also always more or less an unique individual, is denied real personality.
The arbitrary nature of most characterologies becomes the more evident when we consider that each usually prescribes a very limited number of types, but seldom above 12 in all.2 The appeal such typologies have rests on their containing generalisations about aspects of personality which can prove valid when correctly applied and not used in a rigid fashion. It is crucial, however, to realise that no set of character types can cover all aspects of personality and that therefore they easily create illusory and foreshortened images of the individual. They are probably best used for self-reflection as guides and reminders, but not for any decisive classification of others in making practical decisions.

Types and classifications of many kinds are perhaps unavoidable in trying to understand the bewildering variety of forms that differ from culture to culture, society to society and person to person. Where such mutually-exclusive types are defined, they tend to be of a superficial character or of trivial interest. The philosopher Wittgenstein has illustrated this view very well in his Philosophical Investigations. He demonstrates how, rather than there being distinct and separate types, there are usually only what he calls 'family resemblances' between things (and persons). These are similarities and shared characteristics but not predominant types, for there are always many individual differences and varying combinations of traits.
Once a person's character has become fairly well-defined it is not, despite all, entirely unreasonable to group people for some general purposes with the above qualifiers in mind. The groupings chosen will depend upon a number of circumstances of which the most decisive one is obviously the observable characteristics of a person: predominant characteristics of ego-development, character traits or other elements that go to make up the personality, not excluding distinguishing variations due to nation, culture, creed etc. Studies based on the central values dominating a man's behaviour are more pragmatic and fruitful than more theoretical typologies, which are less arbitrary and empirically-testable.

Life is all about......




everyone gets confused when this question arises...What is life about..?
Lets search this and find the right answer....



everyone has a different perception of life..like

Powell Davies:
Life is just a chance to grow a soul.


Abraham Lincoln:
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.


Adrienne Rich:
Life on the planet is born of woman.


Alan Bennett:
Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.


Alice Walker:
Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.


Bertrand Russell:
Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living.
adapted


Buddha:
If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.


Carl Sandburg:
Our lives are like a candle in the wind.


Carl Sandburg:
Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.


Colette:
I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.


Dorothy Thompson:
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.


Emily Dickinson:
If I can stop one heart from breaking,I shall not live in vain.If I can ease one life the aching,Or cool one pain,Or help one fainting robinUnto his nest again,I shall not live in vain.


Goethe:
A useless life is an early death.


HH the Dalai Lama:
What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.


Helen Keller:
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.


Henry James:
Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.


Henry Van Dyke:
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars.


Isaac Asimov:
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.


Jean-Paul Sartre:
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.


Kalidasa:
Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!Look to this Day!For it is Life, the very Life of Life.In its brief course lie all the Verities and Realities of your Existence.The Bliss of Growth,The Glory of Action,The Splendor of Beauty;For Yesterday is but a Dream,And To-morrow is only a Vision;But To-day well lived makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.Look well therefore to this Day!Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!


Leo Buscaglia:
What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.


Marcus Aurelius:
Remember that no man loses any other life than this which he now lives, nor lives any other than this which he now loses.


......................many more...



everyone thinks about life in his own way.so we dont have a particular saying about life.life is all about how you live it....